How to Deal With a Narcissist: Healthy Relationship Tips

Narcissism is a term that describes someone who thinks of themselves as overly self-important. They are individuals who have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and a constant need for admiration and attention. It is considered a mental condition and dealing with a narcissist in a relationship can be both a challenging and emotionally draining experience. They tend to manipulate, belittle, and gaslight their partner in order to maintain their perceived superiority. It can be difficult for the partner of a narcissist to maintain their own sense of self-worth and mental health. However, there are strategies that can be employed to cope with and manage the behavior of a narcissistic partner, as well as options for seeking support and potentially ending the relationship.

How to Recognize a Narcissist

It can often be difficult recognizing a narcissist, as they often present themselves as charming, confident, and charismatic individuals. However, there are some common traits and behaviors that may indicate that someone is a narcissist. 

• Grandiosity. Narcissists often have an inflated sense of self-importance and believe they are special or superior to others. This is the defining characteristic of narcissism. 
• Lack of empathy. They do not understand or care about the feelings and needs of others, and may even exploit or manipulate them for their own benefit. They do not think about how their actions affect others. 
• Need constant praise and admiration. Narcissists crave attention and admiration from others, and may go to great lengths to obtain it. The occasional compliment is never enough, they need it constantly. 
• Sense of entitlement. They believe they deserve special treatment or privileges, and may become angry or resentful when they don’t get their way.
• Lives in a fantasy world. Narcissists live in their own world which is made up of distortion of reality, self-deception and magical thinking. 
• Demeans, intimidates, bullies, and belittles. Narcissists will feel threatened when someone who challenges them or does not bow down to them. And may do it in a patronizing or dismissive manner. They may also show discontent by insulting, name calling, bullying and threatening. 

Other signs that might be seen in a narcissist are always expecting special treatment, exaggerating achievements or talents, reacting negatively to criticism, taking advantage of others and having arrogant behavior. Narcissists also have very fragile self-esteem despite seeming excessively confident. Keep in mind that not everyone who exhibits these behaviors is a narcissist, and that a professional diagnosis should be made by a qualified mental health provider.

Relationships & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) can severely impact relationships as individuals with NPD have an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration and attention, and a lack of empathy for others. In a romantic relationship, a narcissist boyfriend or spouse may struggle to recognize or meet their partner’s emotional needs and may prioritize their own desires and interests. They may also engage in manipulative and controlling behaviors in order to maintain their perceived superiority and to avoid feeling vulnerable. Narcissists can also become aggressive towards their partner and this can lead to narcissistic abuse which is more emotional than physical (but this can also occur).

The partner of a narcissist may experience feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, and depression as a result of the constant criticism and belittling. They may also struggle to maintain their own sense of identity and may feel as though they are constantly walking on eggshells to avoid upsetting their partner. 

How to Deal With a Narcissist

It can be both challenging and emotionally draining, dealing with a narcissist but there are strategies that can be employed to cope with and manage the behavior of a narcissistic partner. It is going to be important to ensure that you are educated on NPD and assure of your own self worth so you will not get attached to their world. 

Educate Yourself

Learn about narcissistic personality disorder and the traits associated with it. This can help you recognize when your partner is engaging in manipulative or controlling behaviors and can help you understand why they may be acting this way. 

Building Healthy Self Esteem

Narcissists often try to lower their partner’s self-esteem in order to maintain their sense of power and control. It is easy to lose yourself when dealing with a narcissist. Building your own healthy self-esteem can help you maintain your sense of self-worth when a narcissist uses their strategies. This can be done with positive affirmations, exercising and deep breathing to relieve stress or practicing a new hobby or engaging in self-care activities. 

Stay Calm

Narcissists often provoke their partners into an emotional reaction, therefore it is critical to stay calm and not give in to their attempts at manipulation. Responding with a calm, respectful tone, using “I” statements when conveying how you feel, and setting clear boundaries can help you maintain your own emotional equilibrium and can help defuse difficult situations.

Setting Boundaries 

Narcissists often have a difficult time respecting boundaries, so it is important to set clear limits on what you will and will not tolerate in the relationship. This may involve stating your needs clearly and firmly, and enforcing consequences if those boundaries are crossed. 

Seeking Support

Dealing with a narcissistic partner can be emotionally exhausting, so it is important to seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional. A therapist can provide guidance and support as you navigate the challenges of being in a relationship with a narcissist.

If you feel that your partner’s behavior is negatively impacting your mental health and well-being, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship.

When You Need a Mental Health Professional

It can be difficult to determine when you need to seek the help of a mental health professional especially when involved in a narcissistic relationship. But there are some signs that may indicate it is time to do so.

• You are experiencing persistent or intense feelings of anxiety, depression, or other emotional distress.
• Your relationships are suffering due to your emotional state or mental health concerns.
• You are struggling with addiction or substance abuse.
• You have experienced trauma or are dealing with symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
• You are having trouble managing stress or coping with major life changes or events.
• You are experiencing difficulty with daily activities such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.
• You are experiencing physical symptoms such as chronic pain, headaches, or stomach issues that have no clear medical explanation.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms or concerns, it may be helpful to seek the help of a mental health professional. This can include a therapist, counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist, depending on your specific needs and circumstances. A mental health professional can provide support, guidance, and treatment to help you improve your mental health and overall well-being. Seeking help is a sign of strength and courage, and can be an important step towards healing and recovery especially when dealing with a narcissistic partner.

When Is It Time to Move On?

Deciding when it is time to move on from a relationship in general can be a difficult and complicated decision, much less ending one with a narcissistic partner. This can especially be even more difficult if there is a long history or if children are involved, but there are some signs that may indicate it is time to move on from a narcissistic boyfriend or spouse. 

• If you’re being physically or sexually abused. 
• If your partner is constantly monitoring your whereabouts and what you are doing.
• If your partner is gaslighting you. 
• If you have persistent anxiety or depression because of the relationship. 
• If your partner is excessively jealous and controlling
• If you have withdrawn from friends and family 
• If you have started using or abusing substances (i.e. alcohol, illicit drugs) to cope
• If you have thoughts of self-harm

The decision to move on from a relationship is a personal one that will depend on your own unique circumstances and needs. It is important to prioritize your own well-being and to make decisions that are in your best interest. If you are considering ending a relationship, it may be helpful to seek the support of a mental health professional or trusted loved one to help you navigate the decision-making process and to provide emotional support during this difficult time. Ending a relationship with a narcissistic boyfriend or spouse can be hard at first and will be a long journey. 

Conclusion

Dealing with a narcissistic partner or navigating mental health concerns can be challenging and emotionally taxing. However, it is important to prioritize your own well-being and seek help when needed. Educating yourself on the issue, building healthy self-esteem, staying calm, setting boundaries, and seeking support from mental health professionals are all important strategies for managing these difficult situations. Additionally, recognizing when it is time to move on from a relationship that is no longer serving your needs is an important decision that requires careful consideration and prioritization of your own well-being. Remember, seeking help and making difficult decisions are signs of strength and courage, and can ultimately lead to a happier, healthier, and more fulfilling life.

Frequently Asked Questions